Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Reflection

2013 was an interesting period of time for me. It wasn't exactly the fabulous year I had hoped for, but then again, thirteen isn't exactly my favorite number either. For a large part of the year I worked on improving myself and my outlook. I had to rebuild trust in my own instincts, get over my unmet expectations, and I had to learn how to let go of the anger I was harboring. Though I didn't get to see my friends as often as I would have liked, I did cherish the times we were able to get together. I even went on a few dates, despite not being entirely ready for some of them at the beginning. And I spent a few relaxing weekend days by the coast in Carmel and in Half Moon Bay.

I tried out new recipes and mastered others. I had a significant decrease in anxiety, but at times I was still overcome with it. I even learned that my black thumb wasn't quite so black after all and I could, in fact, keep a plant alive. I did many, many craft projects. Some were left unfinished, while others were done quite quickly. I started experimenting more with the clothes in my closet and adding more quality pieces to it. I exposed my devotion to Sephora and discovered my love for Birchbox, which ultimately ended up with an invitation to an exclusive Birchbloggers dinner. I flew first class with one of my friends to the east coast for a few days before jet setting down to Jamaica for yet another grand adventure. I went on a few auditions in the city, but I spent more time there socializing with new friends than anything else. I even splurged on tickets to BFD and rocked out on stage with Jared Leto and 30 Seconds to Mars. Just as I was flying high, however, I learned I wasn't going to be able to purchase the condo I had been occupying for the last three years. A MAJOR bummer.

As I began to wallow in my own self-pity, I came across a video that truly inspired me and also made me sob like a freaking baby. Nothing like a healthy dose of "your life isn't as bad as you think" to get you out of a funk. Though I didn't have too many health concerns over the last twelve months, I did get the wonderful opportunity to experience the sober spins and remember what it's like to have tonsillitis.

I confessed that I still hold on tightly to a dream I've had for years and that I'd like to do something about it one day.

I was incredibly grateful I was able to visit with my great aunt and my extended family in Simi Valley again even though it made me miss southern California so much. I even got to attend my first Dodger game. I also made the rounds at the Oakland Coliseum during baseball season and football season.

This last summer I started running again and boy was it rough. Just when it started to get easier, I quit because I was moving (I realize this is a weak excuse), although I did manage to take in some beautiful sunrises. Even though I had to move out of the condo, I turned it into an opportunity to save some money by moving back home. It hasn't been a perfect arrangement, but I get along with my parents so well that it hasn't been very difficult. While I didn't save any money by buying a "new" car, it didn't take me long to replenish my savings and I've been able to cruise around town with the top down even during the very unusual not-so-cold fall and winter months.

Going back to summer time, I got to feel really old when I went to my high school reunion, but then not so old when the lady who worked at the department store where I bought a dress thought it was only my five year. Later on, at the Art & Wine Festival, I discovered an artist that I think is absolutely amazing. I'm so obsessed with his work, I bought three silkscreen shirts for myself and one for a friend. Then, when I saw him again on my glorious Palm Springs vacation with my seester. Of course I bought one more tee.

Since I didn't have plans for Halloween, I decided to dress up for the kids I was passing out candy to. It was an impromptu costume, so the makeup wasn't as good as it could have been if I were better prepared, but it still was a hit. It was a little scary for some of the really young ones, but I got plenty of compliments from the slightly older kids and even some adults.

Thanksgiving and Christmas were great as always, and even though I didn't have a man in my life to share the holidays with, I am eternally grateful to have such a wonderful family to spend time with. It helps that we actually like each other. New Year's was a tame event, but I still had loads of fun at dinner and a movie before coming home in time to see the ball drop at midnight and say hello to a brand new year.

Last year, like every year, was filled with good times and bad times. Did all of my hopes and dreams come true? No, but life is never going to turn out exactly the way you want it to. You have to ride out the never-ending waves that are the ups and the downs of life and make the most of what you've got. I'm doing the best I can at the moment and I'm trying to see the big picture. I don't have everything I want in life right now at this present moment, but that doesn't mean I won't have everything I've hoped and dreamed of in time. I am, after all, an optimistic realist.

xoxox
kk

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